The Buddha taught that attachment that leads to suffering. So the most direct path to happiness and peace is detachment.3
23. February 2018 by Swiss
I earn my living by giving love, providing security, support and commitment to abandoned teenagers, to young souls who have been experiencing more than loss and loneliness in their short lives.
And then I experience loss, lack of empathy, betrayal, deception and dishonesty myself. At a point in life when I felt like, after all that had happened, I’m are ready to conquer anything – anything. A trauma that leaves one unable to eat, sleep, laugh and talk. Because who knew that the ability to lie like this actually exists and happens.
The Buddha taught that attachment leads to suffering. So, the most direct path to happiness and peace is detachment. I can comprehend it but I can’t implement it. I love fully and deeply and I give everything I have. So it leads me to wonder – how can you love and not attach? How can you take the risk to trust while detaching? Is detachment my only way of protecting myself from being hurt? Is attachment the source of the seemingly insurmountable pain of a broken heart?
It happens to the ones who love. And remember: to stop loving isn’t an option. The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. The pain of rejection, absence, and loneliness will strengthen the ground you stand on. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart may be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.
In essence, love is the consistent embodiment of care, compassion, kindness, and joy toward yourself, your partner, and each other as two interconnected and supported beings. If you encounter those feelings, you can’t work around your own vulnerability. Trusting and committing takes a humongous amount of courage, especially when we have been hurt before. We enter the risk of getting our hearts broken every time anew. It’s unsurprising that trust issues arise and fill us with fear and anxiety – if that’s an experience from our childhood or later in our lives, it doesn’t matter. Trust issues show up as a natural defence mechanism.
But: there is one emotion that is stronger than fear, and that is forgiveness. There is no undoing what has happened and as long as we can’t forgive, the happening owns all the power and influence at the expense of our happiness. For power is never simply a possession but an exercise; power is about how we understand ourselves. If we can forgive, we can let go. If we can let go, we can detach. If we can detach, we find happiness.